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Anger Management
Anger Management
Two strongest negative emotions rule all living animals, including humans, ANGER and FEAR. Response to anger has been fitted into the brain circuitry as a basic function. Many are able to control the anger , the rest get carried away in it.
Process of Anger Management
- Acknowledge that you get angry
- It is the first step in the process of anger management, to be aware that you get angry. It is very difficult to acknowledge. Because we are so used to get angry, that we get carried away n the emotional downpour.
- Emotional attack, or Emotional hijack.
- Anger has an add-on value. It adds from where it previously stopped. For example, a neighbor keeps troubling us every day, first we may neglect him, slowly, we start noticing it. Then we may start giving reaction and on one day, outburst. It can happened with any one, especially teachers- students, husband-wife, father -son, business partners etc.
- Circumstances keep affecting our tolerance value. Something that bothered us last year, may be irrelevant today or vice versa.
- Anger reduces our common sense, our creative thinking ability and at that moment we try to find a quick fix.
- Justification of anger
- Aristotle has defined empathy as it is a “ to be angry with at right time, right degree, for the right purpose and right way”
- When we are not aware of our emotional status, and no willpower or openness to acknowledge the anger, we try to justify the anger. these people always say, “I am right and the others are wrong”
- Identify Your TRIGGER Points
- Every person has a history full of bad memories in which there are bad persons, places, seasons , schools, teachers , fear etc. Some issues are unresolved for years. Our subconscious mind always keeps linking our current scenarios with the past records in the memory and then judging them at current level. This is ridiculous to know, but it happens without our knowledge
- FEELINGs: When you get angry, you need to be aware of your feelings, emotions and check what exactly bothers you. It can be stressors from current life also.
- Learn to watch your thoughts and relax
- Daily meditation exercise keep your uncontrolled thoughts in check and you learn to retain the draining of emotional energy. It also helps you in relaxing in trying situations ( eg. Exercise of focusing on maintaining breath rhythm).
- Learn to manage the outburst of thoughts, don’t let emotional hijack slip you
- In the initial stages, learn to find and replace with soft words. People feel powered to use hard, bad words while blaming others. Words for words heighten the moods and catalyzes a perfect explosive situation.
- Backward counting from 678. By this time you would have mastered the art of backward counting from 99. So begin with something that is 3 or 4 digit uncommon number. Concentrating on this awkward sequence will divert your attention from the current anger.
Self Help:
Pl. try with the methods given above to manage with your anger.
Abhijit Kamat
Holistic Health Exercises v/s Fad of Muscle building
Traditional holistic health exercises v/s fad of Muscle building
We see plenty of fitness clinics and body building gyms on every city road in India. What purpose does it serve? How thought processes of people have changed in last 2 decades?
A typical Indian traditional method of maintaining a good health is to do traditional exercises, suryanamaskar (or Dips) and uthak-baithak (sit ups). (Yoga is kept out of perview ). These are two simple methods that does not need any investment and can be done at your house. For many generations until around 20 years back people have practiced these two exercises. If someone wanted to further tone up his body, then he could go for dumbbells, and Mudgils.
In old days, a kind hearted landlord used to donate his extra land or a shed for young people and they used to develop and maintain this GYM or Talim or Akhada. Young boys used to take tips from seniors. Enrollment fee used to be nominal. Entry into a traditional Gym was also linked to God of health, Hanuman. This had helped generations to control 2 things, Brahmacharya and liquor ( (control over urge to have sex & intoxication during bachelorhood ). Because elders were aware that ego comes with muscles build up and that leads to dooms.
In last 20 years the picture has changed completely. Joint families disintegrated into nuclei and free time, free land, and kindness have shrunk. Elders’ advice is no longer sought. But, the attraction of maintaining good health is turned into a fad of developing toned up muscles.
Since free time has shrunk & excess money is available, people started looking for pleasure with the money power. The purpose of maintaining good health through regular and holistic exercise is lost and a new equation has been developed. That is to have a big muscle body in short time and exhibit them in public too.
People no longer call it exercise, they call it workout and do calculated exercises for legs, arms, chest perhaps supplemented with steroids or power food. The modern gyms charge a hefty amount 12 months in advance. The benign purpose is now a profession. And then the purpose of joining the gym is measurable in terms of size of your muscles. It is a shift from joy of doing exercises to ROI (return of investment).
With the inflated confidence of the huge muscled body & power of money, the pleasure seeking youth goes for junk food, intoxication and rash driving. Pleasures from senses are never satisfactory and never ending. There are many who after leaving the gym continued with the hefty diet habits, resulting into bulged bodies.
Self Help:
- This is the world of show business; people have lost their consciousness and fallen into the trap of visual pleasures. Not everything that looks big is always good.
- Visual attractions; Pl. evaluate whether it meets your true purpose than the attractive and tempting packaging.
- Pl. evaluate the advantages of traditional exercises, in case you happen to read this blog.
Abhijit Kamat
Yoga, Meditation and Emotional Intelligence for health 