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Take Charge of Your Career Destiny: Azim Premji
The address was delivered by Azim Premji, Founder, Wipro, on August 12, 2006.
THE funny thing about life is that you realize the value of something only when it begins to leave you. As my hair turned from black, to salt and pepper and finally salt without the pepper, I have begun to realise the enthusiasm and excitement of youth.
At the same time, I have begun to truly appreciate some of the lessons I have learnt along the way. As you embark on your careers, I would like to share them with you. I am hoping that you will find them as useful as I have.
The world you are entering is in many ways very different now from what it was when I began my career. It was the late sixties and India still depended on other countries for something as basic as food. We aroused sympathy, not admiration whenever we went overseas. Recently, someone told me, that when visitors came to India then, they came to see what they could do for India. Now, they come to see what India can do for them. As a hopeful Indian, I look at our country as one which is rich in ethnic and cultural diversity and one that has an effective, secular democracy which will help us build an enduring society.
Lesson 1: Take charge
This was the first thought that came to me, when over four decades ago, I stepped into Wipro factory at Amalner. I was 21 and had spent the last few years in Stanford University Engineering School at California. Many people advised me to take up a nice, cushy job rather than face the challenges of running a hydrogenated oil business. Looking back, I am glad I decided to take charge instead. Essentially, leadership begins from within. It is a small voice that tells you where to go when you feel lost. If you believe in that voice, you believe in yourself. When it comes to choosing your careers, you have to take charge of your own destiny.
Lesson 2: Earn your happiness
The second lesson I have learnt is that a rupee earned is of far more value than five found. In fact, what is gifted or inherited follows the old rule of come easy, go easy. I guess we only know the value of what we have if we have struggled to earn it.
Lesson 3: Nothing succeeds like failure
The third lesson I have learnt is no one bats a hundred every time. Life has many challenges. You win some and lose some. You must enjoy winning. But do not let it go to the head. The moment it does, you are already on your way to failure. And if you do encounter failure along the way, treat it as an equally natural phenomenon. The important thing is, when you lose, do not lose the lesson.
Lesson 4: Nothing fails like success
The fourth lesson I have learnt is the importance of humility. There is a thin line of difference between confidence and arrogance. Confident people are always open to learn. A recent survey of executives in Europe showed that the single most important quality needed for leadership success was the willingness to learn from any situation. Arrogance on the other hand stops learning. It comes with a feeling that one knows all that needs to be known and has done all that needs to be done.
Lesson 5: There has to be a better way
Partly as a corollary to what I have just said, we must remember that no matter how well we do something there has to be a better way! Excellence is not a destination but a journey. Creativity and innovation sometimes need inspiration from other disciplines. It is probably not a chance that Einstein’s interest in music was as much as his interest in Physics. Bertrand Russell was as much a mathematician as a philosopher. Excellence and creativity go hand in hand.
Lesson 6: Respond, not react
There is a world of difference between the two and in terms of success and failure. The difference is that the mind comes in between responding and reacting. When we respond, we evaluate with a calm mind and do whatever is most appropriate. We are in control of our actions. When we react, we are still doing what the other person wants us to do.
Lesson 7: Remain physically active
It is easy to take health for granted when you are young. I have found that exercise not only improves the quality of time but also reduces the time you need for sleep. The truth is that stress will only increase in a global world. You must have your own mechanism to deal with it.
Lesson 8: Never compromise on your core values
Mahatma Gandhiji often said that you must open the windows of your mind, but you must not be swept off your feet by the breeze. One must define what you stand for. This is not difficult. But values lie, not in the words used to describe them, as much as in the simple acts. And that is the hard part. Like someone said, I could not hear what you said because what you did was coming out far too loud.
Lesson 9: Play to win
Playing to win brings out the best in us and in our teams. It brings out the desire to stretch, to achieve that which seems beyond our grasp. However, it is not about winning at any cost. It is not about winning every time. It is not about winning at the expense of others. It is about innovating all the time. It is a continuous endeavour to do better than last time.
Lesson 10: Give back to society
All of us have a collective social responsibility towards doing our bit to address them. Of all the challenges, the key to me is education. We have a paradoxical situation, where on the one hand we have jobs chasing scarce talent and on the other, rampant unemployment and poverty. The only way to bridge these two ends of the pole is by providing quality education that is accessible by all.
True and deeper meaning of Yoga. Part 3/3
True and deeper meaning of Yoga. Part 3/3
Abhijit Kamat, 1 february 2013
contact@stressguru.co.in
www.stressguru.co.in
https://simplemeditation4health.wordpress.com
(from previous chapter:- What are 8 parts of yoga and their purpose?
First 5 parts cover the external issues and the last 3 parts cover the mind related issues.
To improve the moral values: 1) Yama and 2) Niyama (Dos and Don’ts ).
3) Asanas: to purify and prepare the body, – 4)Pranayam: to vitalize, control body’s energy or Prana and bring harmony. 5) Pratyahara:. to control the pleasure seeking habits of mind and senses )
Now last 3 parts of Yoga that deal with MIND.
(It is said that with the persistent and prolonged practice of all 8 parts of Yoga, the Human Nervous System gets developed and fine tuned to take the experience of Samadhi).
6) Dharna: (contemplation)
Background w.r.t. 5 body related exercises:- With the practice of various asnas, the body has become capable for sitting longer time. With the practice of pratyahara, mind has reduced its useless wandering in the satisfaction of senses. With the practice of truth, there is no fear of ‘what next’ thoughts those come prior to telling lies. Practicing Yam and Niyam, strengthens the moral values and boosts confidence.
So, with the practice of first 5 methods of Yoga, mind is now a little bit stable and this helps in concentrating on a single thought ( or thoughtlessness) . Concentration keeps coming and going. During his efforts to concentrate mind, the practitioner is aware of his surroundings , time and space around him. This is called Dharna or contemplation.
7) Dhyana: (meditation)
Through the practice of Dharna, slowly, mind starts learning to stay on a single thought (or thoughtlessness) for a longer time. This journey into further depth of thoughtlessness is called Dhyana, when a practitioner loses his awareness of surrounding, time and space.
8) Samadhi:
With the more practice of Dhyana, the mind effortlessly glides into further depth of consciousness, called Samadhi. There are three types of Samadhis.
Following excerpts on Samdhi are taken from http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/books/0138/2/152/index.html
Samadhi is an exalted and glowing state of Consciousness, whereas realisation is a conscious, natural and manifesting state of Consciousness. There are three stages of Samadhi: Savikalpa Samadhi, Nirvikalpa Samadhi and Sahaja Samadhi. Usually we speak of Savikalpa and Nirvikalpa.
a. Savikalpa Samadhi : In Savikalpa Samadhi there are thoughts, ideas, but they do not affect the most advanced seeker or the Yogi. The Yogi remains unperturbed. He functions in a dynamic and confident manner.
b. Nirvikalpa Samadhi: I have included two links to explain on Samadhi. In Nirvikalpa Samadhi, nature’s dance stops. There is no movement. Everything is tranquil. The Knower and the Known have become totally One. The lover and the Beloved have become One. The Yogi enjoys a supremely divine, all-pervading, self-amorous ecstasy.
3. Sahaja Samadhi: Sahaja Samadhi is by far the highest type of Samadhi. Very few spiritual Masters have achieved that state.
Pl. note: Samadhi is a very advanced stage of Yoga and one who follows the path of Yoga will definitely achieve it . But for a normal person, to beging with, careful practice of correct Asnas (under a proper guide) helps to maintain a good body posture and simple meditation technique helps to maintain peaceful joyous mind. They both when practiced together help to maintain a good health of mind and body.
True and deeper meaning of Yoga. Part 1/3
True and deeper meaning of Yoga. Part 1/3
Abhijit Kamat, 1 February 2013
contact@stressguru.co.in www.stressguru.co.in https://simplemeditation4health.wordpress.com(this article is posted to enlighten the readers on the complete meaning of Yoga and avoid misconceptions )
Why learn Yoga and What is Yoga? Decide your purpose of learning the Yoga.
Yoga means alignment of mind and body for a greater purpose, leading to Liberation and Enlightenment. Mind and body are well connected, but we can’t understand this connection in normal circumstances. (This needs a practice of many years.) In other words, if now, you realized that your muscles and ligaments are rigid, can’t be bent etc, that means, your mind has already become rigid with plenty of samskaras ( or past memories). And various Yoga exercises are done to undo these samskaras.
Why you are interested in Yoga . Is it because…… 1) you heard of Ramdeo Baba and his exercises on TV? 2) your doctor recommended you to do some Yoga exercises because of spondylitis, diabetes, back-pain or overweight etc ? 3) someone’s advertisement claiming quick Yoga, that excited you to know more about it?
It is better to understand Yoga in toto….
What is not Yoga? Pl. note that, What we commonly refer to as Yoga is basically 1 of 8 parts (or 8= Ashtang) Yoga, called Asnas ( or body postures).
Why only Asnas are advertised as Yoga? In the current world, people feel that they don’t have time, because their all senses are loaded with stimuli and senses are always seek pleasures. Stressful activities have reduced man’s ability to think consciously, that’s why, they feel that “An actress’s photo with sexy attire and ‘revealing’ Yoga positions is more interesting than the true teachings of Yoga itself”.
That’s why you have to decide what value you seek from any Yoga training program:- flexibility or good looking crowd or passing time etc?
Yoga does not come so cheap and quick. Ask Mr BKS Iyengar who spent his life in mastering the Yoga. Ask Ramdeo baba himself how many hours he spent in mastering the techniques. What he shows today is the tip of iceberg. He keeps motivating people to perform some common exercises daily. That’s the secret of good health (to begin with…).
Continued ….
True and deeper meaning of Yoga. Part 2/3
True and deeper meaning of Yoga. Part 2/3
Abhijit Kamat, 1 February 2013
https://simplemeditation4health.wordpress.com
What are 8 parts of yoga and their purpose?
First 5 parts cover the external or body related issues and the last 3 parts cover the inner or mind related issues.
First 5 parts
To improve the moral values: 1) Yama and 2) Niyama (Dos and Don’ts )
To purify and prepare the body: 3) Asanas
To vitalize, control body’s energy or Prana and bring harmony – 4)Pranayam
Control the pleasure seeking habits of mind and senses – 5) Pratyahara
We will touch upon some of the moral values as mentioned in Yama and Niyama. They are very difficult to follow in today’s world because to follow them you have to change your current lifestyle ( that may include cheating, plagiarism, polygamy, coercing, killing, intoxication, etc). People love these habits so much then why would they follow complete Ashtang Yoga techniques? That’s why when the ‘Yoga training program is advertised, it contains only “Asnas or positions”. As briefed in part 1, if you follow all 8 parts of Yoga, only then the true meaning of liberation is possible,
First 5 of the Ashtang Yoga techniques
1) YAM and
2) NIYAM Some of the Dos and donts, for developing & strengthening moral values.
Satya (truth): Very difficult to maintain ‘truth’ in daily life. We lie every now and then. Our exaggerated sales talk, false claims, false promises to friends, telling lies for small gains and selfishness etc is a part of this.
Asteya (non stealing): What about plagiarism? We take credit for something that we never performed. Some people don’t pay the correct taxes to their government etc.
Ahimsa ( Non killing): This is not limited to becoming a vegetarian but there is more than that. This also includes hurting people with, sarcastic remarks & insult to people, threatening and coercing, abusing etc. But, some people follow vegetarian diet on one hand and on the other cheat, lie, abuse, scold, threaten their employees, friends, relatives. This mockery of Ahimsa.
3) Aasnas or body postures
Various body postures tone up the coordination of various nerves, glands, muscles, ligaments etc. With the practice of these Asnas the purification of body starts. One should not force the body to bend to show the flexibility. Forcible bending is not the purpose of Asnas, if forced, it may worsen your existing health problems.
4) Pranayam (prana- subtle life force), this is an exercise to control the life force. People begin this exercise with various breathing exercises, varying from simple to difficult ones. With the practice of many days, slowly breathing rhythm starts matching with that of the body and one gets into practicing of meditation. Pranayam helps in controlling metabolism.
5) Pratyahara: prati (anti), ahara (food). The way to consciously avoid pleasure seeking stimuli sought by senses. Some are prone to eat too much, sleep too much, drink liquor too much. These habits need to be consciously monitored and avoided. This is the way to train our body to get aligned with mind for higher purpose.
Well, these 5 body level techniques is just a beginning. In the next chapter we will see mind level exercises. It is difficult to control mind than body.
contd……
Mental Worship or Manas Pooja
Mental worship or Manas Pooja
By Abhijit Kamat. 10th August 2012.
www.simplemeditation4health.wordpress.com
On internet and newspapers, there are many news how people are cheated under the name of “guiding for meditation”. People get carried away with fancy advertisements of various types of Yoga and enlightenment. There are many quack Gurus available in the market for selling. If you have money or beautiful body, they will exploit it. So be careful.
To help these people seeking meditation, this article is written on Manas Pooja or Mental worship.
Mental worship, is one of the ways of performing meditation. And it does not need anybody’s guidance. I found that this is one of the excellent ways of meditation in Bhakti (devotion) Yoga. You get so involved in this mental worship, that you will never come to know how time passes. And when you forget the time in meditation, you achieved a fantastic concentration. When there is a devotion to your God or Guru, religion does not matter. What matters is how much you are involved & engrossed in the mental worship. Person of any religion can do it.
It is a worship similar to what you may do physically. But, here, it is a request to goto the utmost details while performing mental worship. Imagine that the vessels, dishes etc used in the worship are of gold, use the world’s beautiful flowers for submission and feel the joy in your heart throughout the worship. Don’t be stingy in imagining the golden dishes. But, we are so used to live in today’s world, that we can not even think of golden dishes while performing the mental worship.
When to do mental worship? Time does not matter, it can be morning or evening. Your love and feelings towards Him matters. However, once you start regular worship and enjoying it, you will be guided by your consciousness towards the right time. If you are doing it in the morning, it is not necessary to have bath as it may not be possible at 4 or 5 AM every time. No two persons can have the same method.
How to perform MENTAL WORSHIP/ MANAS POOJA?
Get up early from bed, and think of God; freshen up, and sit down and perform manasa-pooja, mental worship. With the conscious mind, ensure you have the prescribed sixteen items (sandalwood paste, flowers, and food, sweets, water, fragrance, essence sticks, honey, purified butter, sugar, camphor —— subject to your religion and rituals, so not necessary to be bogged down by the list).
One example:- (you may worship your God as per your ritual)
If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, then your mental worship may start like this……You have invited Jesus Christ to your house. Fragrance of burning essence stick has filled your house. You (and your spouse) welcome Him and offer a chair covered with the best linen of the world. You wash His feet with warm water and then wipe with a white soft scented towel. Then you anoint His feet with a musk or fragrance. You offer and then submit the world’s most beautiful flowers at His holy feet. And all of a sudden, when you look at His face, you realize that, He has been just smiling at you while you perform all the rituals. Your heart is now filled with peace, love and joy.
You wash His hands, wipe them with the same white scented towel. You then offer Him the home made sweets that you ( or your spouse) have prepared exclusively for Him with love. When you feed Him the sweets, (that is placed in golden dish), He knows how much you love Him and He accepts it with smile. When you bow to His feet, he blesses you by touching your head. This is the moment!!! your body is no more normal body now, there is a burst of peace, love and joy in your heart. You may request for this peace, love and joy to be forever with you or guidance to come out the existing problem. (Word of caution: if there is no love, questions may remain unanswered or answers may be erratic and you may lose faith. The best thing is not to ask for anything as He is fully aware of what is happening with you.)
To end this worship, never imagine sending your God or Guru out of your house, instead see that he enters into your heart and remains there for the whole day. That is, maintain those feelings of peace, love and joy throughout the day.
If tears of Joy and Love come out of your eyes while performing this mental worship, I am happy that I have rightly conveyed it to you. This whole process requires concentration, love and devotion. With practice you will certainly reach this stage.
(Pl. do not forget to give feedback that would bring me joy too abhijit@stressguru.co.in)
other articles
- what is meditation and various method
- Guided body scan meditation
- Shani amawasya: myth and blind faith
- Migraine: is it stress in subconscious? What meditation can do?
The Art of negotiation, opportunity and self-conscience
The Art of negotiation, opportunity and self-conscience
17 june 2012
Abhijit Kamat
www.Simplemeditation4health.wordpress.com
Does the negotiation or bargaining has any morality and limit?
During negotiation, both sides, the purchaser and the seller always try to get maximum out of the deal. Various factors dominate the deal. There are cases where the one party tries to take advantage of the innocence or helplessness of the other party.
Here are some example in society when organized groups take people for granted and the government becomes helpless for a while.
- There was a strike of pilots of national air carrier. Other private air companies increased their rates immediately.
- Many pharma companies squeeze patients when they charge exorbitant amount for their modified molecules. This works well until someone copycats that molecule and charges much lower rates.
Here are some funny examples when people try to take advantage at individual level. They ensure that they get the best out of the process. But during the process they become so self centered with the art of negotiation that they lose their conscience.
- On a sea beach in Vasai where I stay, a poor horseman was offering rides for kids. Charges INR 10 per horseback for 10 minutes ride. A businessperson who had come with a large family started negotiating with him. I got interested in that deal and started watching it. He got the deal reiterated from the man’s mouth and happily seated his two kids on one horseback. After the round was over he offered INR 10. The surprised horseman demanded INR 20 ( as per his understanding 1 kid = 1 horseback so for 2 kids= INR 20). The businessman, got the deal reiterated again and showed the gaps in words and the perceptions of the two sides (him and the horseman). The horseman had never met such a stingy person in life. After some exchange of angry words, the horseman refused to take even INR 10 and stuck to INR 20. The businessman shamelessly asked the horseman to either take INR 10 of get lost without it. The poor horseman had to satisfy himself with INR 10. He had learnt a lesson to deal with stingy person (and perhaps how to frame his deal in correct words!!).
I read another example, where how people show the pettiness of their minds when they call it “ the art of negotiation”.
A chain smoker went to a church and expressed his desire to the priest to smoke while praying as he can not spare a single minute without smoking. The priest refused for such request and instructed him, “not to smoke while praying”.
This smoker left the church disheartened and came next day very early. He was surprised to see one person smoking & praying together. In reply to his query on how he got permission from the priest, this person said, it all depends on how you frame the words!!. I asked the priest “Father, do you agree that one has to always pray to GOD. He said ‘YES.’ Then I asked him “ father would you mind if I pray while smoke?” He said “no problem”.
“And gentleman, from that moment I always pray while I smoke here.”
Moral of the story is :
- Saints’ words can also be twisted and misused.
- We always try to justify our deeds. However, sometimes our own conscience protects us from doing something wrong. But there are many whose conscience is always busy in twisting and bending the rules for small gains.
- When your conscience is dead, it does not affect you even though you see thousands of people are suffering.
Shani Amavasya 2012 (myths and blind faiths)
Shani Amavasya 2012 (myths and blind faiths)
By Abhijit Kamat
http://www.simplemeditation4health.wordpress.com
Shani Dev is one of the most popular deities that the Hindus pray to ward off evil and remove obstacles.
Meaning of Shani in Sanskrit and in Stress Management
Shani literally means in Sanskrit “slow-moving-one”. According to myths, Shani oversees the “dungeons of the human heart and the dangers that lurks there.” As far as stress management is concerned its is the law of relativity. How…?
If you are asked to spend a year in beautiful place ( with beautiful women and drinks esp.) time will fly. On the contrary if you are fallen into a bad patch ( may be a painful relationship or separation, health problems and bankruptcy), time will not move at all.
The Lord of Bad Luck?: Using Shani in fortune telling
Hindus make janma-Kundli (the planetary positions at the time of one’s birth) and use it to predict the future events in man’s life. It’s a mathematical calculation of planetary positions in future and interpreting as good bad events life. ( I am yet to see anyone predicting a correct future. It’s a subjective issue as some people are die hard believer of their Pundit or fortune tellers). Shani is considered to be an evil. Because it foretells a bad patch in life as said earlier. ( there is no doubt that people faces bad patches otherwise also).
The so called experts pundits elaborate the suffering people to arrange for various pujas and rituals to get rid of evil effects of Shani. What a sufferer can do? He is already depressed and looking for a quick escape. He is ready to pay heavily for such rituals and buy peace from the ill effects of Shani. (suggestion- Plenty of Babas and Bapus are upcoming to help you out and there is no logical or spiritual explanation to what they suggest. I repent, I should have been taken it as a profession. Too much money is this Babagiri )
Logic of Shani does not fit everywhere.
Everyone has a bad patch in life irrespective of his/ her religion and location. Example: a catholic who is suffering from a bad patch, what will he do? He will simply surrender to Jesus. Same for a Muslim, as he will surrender to Allah. This is in addition to the possible efforts and hard work they are putting into. So it is the combination of faith and hard work that works.
Many people who overcame the bad patch were not aware of Shani ( and blind faith?)
Many warriors, great personalities in the past narrate their various experiences where, suddenly, they were put into challenging situations. Some were successful by means of enduring (Auschwitz Camp) , some kept trying ( mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Aung San Suue Kyi). In such situations the mantra of the secret is “Someone has to break, then, why you? Let the situation break and you will be the winner.” And when the situation changes to favorable, People call it “miracle”.
As the law of impermanence always dictates, nothing is permanent in this world, even the worst patch. Just face it, endure it and keep trying.
Self help:
• If you are willing to pay for the rituals, pujas during bad patch and if it gives you and family peace, please do it. But ensure that you are not taken granted and cheated by the quacks on the name of Shani or any God.
• Ensure that you use conscience and detachment during evaluation of the situations.
Added on 15th May 2012:- I get regular update from wordpress on, from which country what article is accessed. Surprisingly, Indians in US, UK and other developed countries keep searching for the effects of Shani, Shani Amawsya, Shani Puja. The impact of blind faith and upbringing is so high that they are still entangled in such theories of “Shani ko gussa Kyun aata hai” and not able to come out of mental blocks. Its not Shani, its your mental patterns that directs you and others. Pl. read my articles on Samkhara in this blog. (Pl. reply if this has helped you)
ivvv
Superstition and Stress
Superstition and Stress
13 march 2012
Abhijit Kamat
Half an hour before the commencement of FIFA final, player s were busy in preparing for the game. Captain of team A was praying for the victory of his team. If he wins he would be the hero, his price for the next year would go up. Then he did something that he was doing for last many matches, he has kept a fix sequence of wearing shoes, right socks first then slip in right shoe – left socks and tie the lace of right shoe, slip in left shoe and tie its lace. He had not shaved for the last 3 days. He had the belief that when he follows these things, victory is ensured.
Many cricket players follow similar beliefs. Someone will always tie right shoeless first. Someone will not shave for two days prior to the match, some one will wear jersey of number 10. For a third person this looks funny.
Three friends were watching live cricket final between India and Australia. 18 runs required from 10 ball to win and 3 wickets in hand. When A got up from his sit, a player hit for a six. Later, when A sat at another location, there were 2 quick wickets. B & C got angry and they asked A to stand up again and not move as if A is having all keys to score. It something like, out of all population of India and Australia who were watching thin cricket match live, only A is having control over the score. This happens with many people, when they think that if they move, the wicket would fall.
Ramesh was a typical north Indian whose all fingers except thumb are stuffed with rings studded with semi precious stones. As he faced various problems at various times, he met different astrologers and they kept guiding him, sometimes for better money, sometimes to get rid of problems. A few astrologers, sometimes suggested him to increase the weight of the stone because it was required to counter the intensity of the problem. However, as it did not solve the problem during last year, he changed stones, rings along with astrologers at the cost of Rs 20000. He is still looking for an astrologer who can guide him. He goes to temple every Friday.
John, while riding on his two wheeler to office, turns his head towards right, and try to see Christ through the main door of the church. When he could see “Christ” he has the belief that the day would end good. When he can’t do it on any day, he starts feeling shaky by the time he reaches office. He has the strong belief that when he can’t see “Christ” while riding, the day would be bad for him. He nearly missed many accidents while driving his bike and desperately trying to see through the church’s door.
When you compare all above examples, you may ask this question, Why people do this?
This is Superstition, that has no base or logic.
Sometimes, when the stakes are very high, the risk of failure is also very high. People seek intervention of God , stars, gems etc so that they always remain in profit. How can they tie up God with bribe?. Some one’s blind faith may be ridiculous to others (see the pic of man marrying a bitch). When people can’t follow their blind faith practices they are under tremendous stress.
Self help:
- Pl. do introspection and check whether you are one of the characters mentioned above?
- Pl. try and learn to differentiate between faith and blind faith or superstition.
When Did Feeding Ourselves Become So Complicated?
Anger Management
Anger Management
Two strongest negative emotions rule all living animals, including humans, ANGER and FEAR. Response to anger has been fitted into the brain circuitry as a basic function. Many are able to control the anger , the rest get carried away in it.
Process of Anger Management
- Acknowledge that you get angry
- It is the first step in the process of anger management, to be aware that you get angry. It is very difficult to acknowledge. Because we are so used to get angry, that we get carried away n the emotional downpour.
- Emotional attack, or Emotional hijack.
- Anger has an add-on value. It adds from where it previously stopped. For example, a neighbor keeps troubling us every day, first we may neglect him, slowly, we start noticing it. Then we may start giving reaction and on one day, outburst. It can happened with any one, especially teachers- students, husband-wife, father -son, business partners etc.
- Circumstances keep affecting our tolerance value. Something that bothered us last year, may be irrelevant today or vice versa.
- Anger reduces our common sense, our creative thinking ability and at that moment we try to find a quick fix.
- Justification of anger
- Aristotle has defined empathy as it is a “ to be angry with at right time, right degree, for the right purpose and right way”
- When we are not aware of our emotional status, and no willpower or openness to acknowledge the anger, we try to justify the anger. these people always say, “I am right and the others are wrong”
- Identify Your TRIGGER Points
- Every person has a history full of bad memories in which there are bad persons, places, seasons , schools, teachers , fear etc. Some issues are unresolved for years. Our subconscious mind always keeps linking our current scenarios with the past records in the memory and then judging them at current level. This is ridiculous to know, but it happens without our knowledge
- FEELINGs: When you get angry, you need to be aware of your feelings, emotions and check what exactly bothers you. It can be stressors from current life also.
- Learn to watch your thoughts and relax
- Daily meditation exercise keep your uncontrolled thoughts in check and you learn to retain the draining of emotional energy. It also helps you in relaxing in trying situations ( eg. Exercise of focusing on maintaining breath rhythm).
- Learn to manage the outburst of thoughts, don’t let emotional hijack slip you
- In the initial stages, learn to find and replace with soft words. People feel powered to use hard, bad words while blaming others. Words for words heighten the moods and catalyzes a perfect explosive situation.
- Backward counting from 678. By this time you would have mastered the art of backward counting from 99. So begin with something that is 3 or 4 digit uncommon number. Concentrating on this awkward sequence will divert your attention from the current anger.
Self Help:
Pl. try with the methods given above to manage with your anger.
Abhijit Kamat
Yoga, Meditation and Emotional Intelligence for health 